8 Helpful Tips to Find the Perfect Spouse

Marriage can be one of the most amazing things to happen in your life, or it can be the worst mistake you ever made. The secret to a long and happy marriage rests entirely on finding the right person to marry, but how do you know they’re the one? Below are eight helpful tips that can help you find that perfect spouse, even if you don’t think it’s possible.

1) Understand what you want

Before you meet with potential spouses, make sure you have a good understanding of what you’re looking for. There’s no need to get picky from day one—just know your deal breakers so you can steer clear of anyone who will trigger them. Make sure both members of a couple are on board with their partner being included in dating because, let’s face it, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

2) Ask your friends and family

In addition to your own circle, it’s a good idea to reach out to others. If you’re trying to find someone with certain traits, ask friends who have those traits; chances are they know other people who do too. In addition, don’t be afraid of posting on social media (on Twitter or Facebook). To keep yourself honest and realistic about what you want in a partner, it can help if your messages are public!

3) Learn to compromise

It’s easier said than done, we know. Compromise is part of a healthy marriage, and yet it’s often something that gets swept under the rug because we get so caught up in how our own ideas might be right. But compromise can be incredibly rewarding and strengthen your bond with your future spouse—so if you learn to do it right, it could make all of your dreams come true

4) Examine your exes

Though it may seem unromantic, looking at past relationships can be incredibly helpful in determining what kind of person you should be with. Examine where those relationships went wrong and think about how your current partner is different from those who came before him or her. By reviewing your past relationships and seeing how they shaped your love life, you can learn more about what you want in a future partner.

5) Date different people

Okay, I know it sounds obvious, but people who marry their high school sweetheart are in for a world of trouble. Look around your social circle and identify friends who you think would make a good fit—and then ask them out. You’ll likely have some immediate chemistry; if not, there’s no harm done (except for your ego). People like having options, so offer several candidates. See where things go.

6) Online Dating Sites

Online dating sites are a great place to start when looking for a spouse. They can also be a great way to find new business contacts or meet people with shared interests, such as similar hobbies, career goals or fitness goals. If you’re new to online dating, spend some time building up your profile before trying to jump in and network with other members. Include specific details about yourself that show you’re serious about your search and know what you want in a relationship and/or spouse.

7) Friends of Friends on Social Media

Research shows that it takes at least five positive social interactions before someone decides to marry a potential partner. These connections are through friends and family, so use Facebook, Instagram and Twitter (oh, my!) as tools for pre-screening potential spouses. You can even use them for field trips when you’re interested in someone. Check out their profiles and photos, as well as their friends and family members’ updates to get a feel for your match online.

8) Go on blind dates

The old-fashioned way is, in fact, still one of the best ways. Get out there and find someone who has potential. With online dating sites now taking over, you may feel more comfortable meeting someone digitally first—and that’s fine! But make sure you set up some dates with people in real life so you can get a sense of who they are and what their personalities are like.